Being a “good enough mother”

Ivelina  —  January 18, 2015

“How is it that mothers can be regarded by so many people as both angel and villain, chaste vessel of purity and whore, queen of wisdom and consummate idiot?” Claire Raynor

Whether you are a mother, have chosen not to be or can not have children, the concept of motherhood is something that you have thought about. We all share some strong cultural believes about motherhood. Some of them are true, some are not, some of them depends. 

1.Women are born to be mothers

2.Motherhood is instinctive

3.Mother knows best

4.Motherhood is a bliss

…………………………………………….being a mother

All of the above put an enormous pressure on most mothers to follow these “believes”. Motherhood is a lot harder than society has made us to believe.Motherhood is an emotional roller-coaster,a path of self discovery( sometimes reluctant) and a never ending learning path on how to deal and respond to it all.

 

As a mother of 3 amazing boys I have learned much more stuff from my boys than all my years of university, high school and all the books I have read combined. 

 

I am not great with pictures, unless it comes to some of the food I make. Images are a simply moments and they work both ways-they make us laugh and make us cry, too.

being a mother

Not a great quality,but at least we are all looking at the camera at the same time 🙂

I managed to find this picture of me and the boys from last September. I don’t have the habit to take any pictures of them.

Bringng up another human being is a responsibility like no other. I sometimes wonder am I a good enough mother? Am I doing the best I can? What would my kids think of me when they become parents themselves? How will the remember me? Those questions I carry with me all the time. 

I like to give to my kids unconditionally love and nurture. I am also constantly building my relationship with them in becoming better friends and team players(like I like to call it). When people live together the main thing is to make it work for everyone. My home is a pure, loving and nurturing place for my men and anybody who visits us. 

Being a good enough mother expands into being a good enough friend, sister and a teacher. 

 

It is time to let go of self criticism and regrets of past mistakes, Yes,I did give my eldest child too much pasta, instead of broccoli, yes I worked too much when my second boy was only a year old, yes, I almost lost everything when the turd  boy was only a few years old…………………But all that is a part of the story. The story of being a mother, that is constantly learning and reinvnting herself. 

My greatest gift is the knowledge, that I have helped those 3 boys to love life, appreciate health and cherish those they love. The rest it is simply a story. 

If you are a mother and you are reading this please feel free to leave me a comment. I would love to hear from you! 

Thank you for being here! I love and appreciate you.

Ivelina

 

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Ivelina

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Thank you so much for visiting my site. I was born and raised in Bulgaria (a small country in  Eastern Europe). I moved to Northern Ireland when I was 22 years old, full of hope, big dreams and an adventurous spirit. I am the mother of four wonderful boys and although I am very grateful for each lesson I've learned in my life, I wish that some things might have happened sooner, but everything has it’s place and everything that is  worthwhile is not always easy.  I want to connect with you. Get in touch.