Today I was talking to a friend and she told me. “You know”, she said “I get really angry when my husband wouldn’t admit he is wrong”. She said “I just feel so angry and I can not help myself but have an argument”. And then she looked at me and said : ” Do you ever get angry ? You look like a person, that would be very hard to annoy.” “Thank you I said, do you really think that?” ” Yes, she said, but tell me please what makes you angry .”
So I just took a deep breath and asked myself that question? What it is that makes me angry? Anger is nothing but fear on a deeper level, it is that feeling of not controlling the situation and feeling overwhelmed by the discomfort, that what you wanted is not happening. I have come to release, that “we all live in different worlds”, but I also believe, that we are all one and connected on a unseen level. When you become angry you disconnect yourself even more and the worst of all is that you disconnect yourself from your heart, which causes pain and unnecessary suffering.
Anger is a choice, which I did used to make on a regular basis, simply because I used to love to feel in artificial control of everything and everybody by getting negative attention . I wasted so much energy on anger and fear in the past.
The day I have become aware of my anger changed my life and it is getting better.What worked for me was walking to a different room and just sitting and feeling the anger. There was no negative energy created to feed it.Just sitting and breathing and feeling slowly the anger going away, turning into guilt and sadness and some tears. When the tears came I started to dig deep into myself. It is one of the most peaceful and profound moments to be in. It’s an effort worth every strain because I was actually able to see myself and feel why I chose to be angry. There were many answers that you can mostly hear with your heart.
It is an amazing breakthrough. I do still get moments of madness, but I have learned how to deal with them. I still haven’t answered what makes my angry. As a matter a fact I feel anger when I think I am not appreciated, because I an not a better mother, a better daughter, a better friend, a better spouse.I have more learning to do , but so far I realized, that I have to learn to appreciate myself just the way I am.Because above all I am Love. And that is a true bliss.Then nothing would trigger anger in me, because I do not have any towards myself.
You are here to share the love and the light shining through you. Let it be just as it is. Loving flowing abundance.
Sending blessings and love
P.S This is day 31 of Word press Challenge to make a post every day. There are 208 days left of 2012.