Archives For Relationships

Oh,how I love to blame!

Ivelina  —  January 3, 2015

Oh,how I love to blame! It is so easy and so simple to explain or justify some of my actions even when I know I can do better.

Blaming is OK, as it helps you sleep better and justify certain things, that you have done,but blaming creates victim mentality.
Victim mentality, self scarifying mother and doing it all woman are a no no in my list of wild and authentic living activities. It is OK to be that way in certain situations, but not at all costs.

Blame and responsibility can be tricky as well.Sometimes I would say I am taking responsibility for my actions and simply blame myself. Ha ha, don’t know to laugh or cry. Get rid of the blame.

Blame and guild are some of the most useless human emotions.They teach us on what not to waste time on. Pay attention to what you say to yourself. Yes, we are humans and every human emotion is normal.

If you find yourself blaming someone or circumstances in a sense of giving your power away it is time to stop and pay attention where you are leaking energy to.

how to stop blaming

There is a way out of blame and victim hood. Before I find myself  in a self pity situation I would ask myself this question “Which one of the problems, that I focus on is a result of my own doing?” This one question has given me a great lift and has helped me understand what are my triggers. Then it is time to dig deeper. Look into what emotion is there as well as blame. Most of the time is something to do with the ideas, that we have for ourselves, or the plan we had in our heads about how the things will work out. 

Being responsible doesn’t start with blaming yourself, that might be a step above blaming others or the circumstances,but to be free from blame you have to take just one more step. You need to shield your own energy. I say to my boys all the time “Shield Yourself.” Keep your presence and still take part. In that way you will avoid blame. 

There could be many reasons for blame-sometimes we feel weak and want attention or sympathy, sometimes we need encouragement, other times we feel lost.It is OK to feel all of these together. The key here is to feel them and not let those emotions define you or own your heart.  Talk to someone you trust, be honest.But most of all be honest with yourself. Being honest is a first step to being responsible in an empowering way.

No matter where you are on your path remember, that you have the power and the control over only 3 things in your life 

  • your attitude
  • your thoughts
  • and your actions

the rest is a gift. Allow yourself to accept it all and peel blame away.Be responsible for what depends on you. The rest will get itself sorted. 

Be well,be wild and enjoy the ride! 

P.SI am writing a post a day for 365 days.This is day 13.

 

 

Anger Management – Why You Feel It and What to Do About It

Anger is a natural emotion and one that is normal for you to feel at some point in your life. There is nothing wrong with feeling angry at something or someone, the problem is when you do not know how to get over your anger and you stay that way for a long time.

When you have been through a lot in your life then your self-esteem can be very low and this can cause you to feel angry towards people and make you feel angry in certain situations. Low self-esteem can cause many issues to arise, but most of all it will cause you to feel angry during situations that you normally would not feel angry about.Anger Management

When you get angry you will want to find a nice quite place to calm down and take a breather. The best thing you can do for yourself when you feel anger towards someone is to remove yourself from that situation and take a break. When you remove yourself from the situation, you will be able to look at the problem and try to find a solution for what is making you so angry. Once you begin to see a solution then you will begin to calm down.

When you have a lot of anger inside of you because of things that have happened in the past you will want to find a way to get your anger under control or learn how to handle it so that you can be a success in all that you do. Being angry can hold you back from many things in life. However, you do not have to let it any more. You can take a stand and start healing so that you can have success and build your self-esteem up.

To deal with all the angry feelings that you are feeling you will need to face what makes you angry. Just remember not to face too much at one time. You will have to take breaks and step back and look at the situation for a solution; once you find that solution you will begin to feel the anger start to go away.

Just always try to remember not to let the anger you feel control you life. It is normal to feel some anger just not so much that you can do nothing else but be angry.

For more advice on self development and anger management, check infoselfdevelopment.com

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Five Relationship Assumptions to Avoid When Money is Tight By Noah St. John NoahStJohn.com

Saying to an entrepreneur “don’t let money affect your relationships” is like saying “don’t let oxygen affect your breathing.”
Without one, it’s awfully hard to have the other.

What I tell my coaching clients who come to me with money worries is that money doesn’t CHANGE anything; it REVEALS everything.

Money acts as a magnifying glass. If you’re a poor jerk, you’ll be a rich jerk – only jerkier. If you’re a broke nice person, you’ll be a rich nice person – only nicer.

So in these tough financial times, how can we make sure our relationships stay healthy (even if our 401K doesn’t)?

Here are five relationships assumptions to avoid when money is tight:

1. Assuming money is everything.

It’s true: the best things in life are free. But the mortgage, groceries and Internet service aren’t.

The fact is, if you have to spend money to enjoy your significant other – and indeed, life – you’re actually facing a deeper issue.

2. Assuming a change in your money situation won’t affect the relationship.

This is the flip side of the first assumption. Remember: money doesn’t CHANGE anything; it REVEALS everything. Be aware that when you experience a significant change in your money situation, your relationship’s about to change in one way or another.

3. Assuming things will turn around by themselves.

Also known as the Ostrich Syndrome. We’ve all been there: believing that “someone out there” will fix our problems. As FDR said, “When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.”

It’s good to assume that things will be better in the future. The problem comes when we think they’ll get better without us having to do anything.

relationships

4. Assuming you and your partner look at money the same way.

No assumption causes more arguments than this one. People tend to fall into four behavioral styles with regards to money: The Spender, The Saver, The Avoider and The Monk.

Imagine a Spender and a Saver living together. Now imagine their income just got cut in half. Insert argument here.

There’s no “right or wrong” with regards to how you relate to money, although each style has its pros and cons. Just know what you are and what your partner is, and adjust accordingly.

5. Assuming things will be this way forever.

This is the “Why Bother?” Syndrome, the flip side of the Ostrich Syndrome. When you assume “why bother?”, your actions will be half-hearted (or some other part of your anatomy), which will naturally lead to half-success, or less.

The key is to find the middle ground between the Ostrich Syndrome and the Why Bother Syndrome. This is an example of how Afformations, or empowering questions, have helped many people make better assumptions about life and their relationship to it.

We all have to work to overturn our unconscious assumptions, especially negative ones about money and relationships. But do the work and you’ll reap the rewards of healthier relationships with your partner, your money and yourself.

 

noah st johnAbout Noah St. John
Noah St. John is famous for inventing Afformations® and helping business owners accelerate income, boost self-confidence, and make success automatic.
His sought-after advice is known as the “secret sauce” for creating breakthrough performance.
According to Stephen Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: “Noah St. John’s work is about discovering within ourselves what we should have known all along – we are truly powerful beings with unlimited potential.”
Noah’s engaging and down-to-earth speaking style always gets high marks from audiences. As the leading authority on how to eliminate limiting beliefs, Noah delivers keynote speeches and mastermind programs that have been called “mandatory for anyone who wants to succeed in business.”
He also appears frequently in the news worldwide, including CNN, ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox, National Public Radio, Parade, Woman’s Day, Los Angeles Business Journal, The Washington Post, Selling Power, Forbes.com, and The Huffington Post.
Fun fact: Noah once won an all-expenses-paid trip to Hawaii on the game show Concentration, where he missed winning a new car by three seconds.
(Note: He had not yet discovered The Power Habits System!)
Get the first 2 chapters FREE of Noah’s latest bestseller, Afformations®: The Miracle of Positive Self-Talk at www.NoahStJohn.com