Archives For Connections and Love

Do you need a boost in willpower?

This post will cover what willpower is and how to increase it systematically. If you apply these tips consistently, you’ll find your motivation and willpower increasing a little more each day.

What is Willpower?

Let’s break it down.

Your will is your capacity to make conscious choices.

Willpower, then, refers to your level of motivation to make the conscious choices that serve you best. It’s that simple. Willpower is the motivation to make healthy, conscious choices for yourself.

The opposite of willpower is to run on autopilot, following your automatically generated whims. This is often a source of self-sabotage. For many of us, the autopilot is set to failure. We need greater willpower to make course corrections.

Here are your three tips, based on principles of Neuro-Linguistic Programming.

1. Identify something small that you’d like to choose every day.

It needs to be simple, such as write for five minutes in your journal, or meditate for 10 minutes, or exercise for 20 minutes. Don’t get greedy. Make it easy to do.

If you bite off more than you can chew, you might activate resistance to making the right choice. Once you get going, you can always choose to increase the effort. For now, you just want to make it easy to get started.

2. Reward yourself on the inside when you do it.

It’s important to feel good when you make good choices. Develop a simple system to congratulate yourself and feel positive when you succeed. For example, when you succeed, you might recite a simple affirmation:

My willpower is increasing and it feels great!

This is an important part of the process. If you don’t allow yourself to feel good after exercising your willpower, then you are less likely to exercise it in the future.

willpower tips

3. When you fail, be honest with yourself, without self-criticism.

Failure is part of the process. Don’t be afraid to fail. And never criticize yourself for failing. Just be honest. For example, you might say to yourself.

I failed today. It’s part of the process. I’ll begin anew tomorrow.

Self-criticism for failing will motivate you away from willpower. It attaches negative feelings to the effort.

Remember, it’s all about using your conscious intention – that’s what willpower is!

Bonus tip: Begin by choosing a limited time period within which you will work on your willpower. This simplifies the effort. For example, choose to work on a specific new behavior for a period of just five days. Short time frames reduce the potential overwhelm that can come with really large goals. When your five days are up, celebrate and renew the effort!

Mike Bundrant is co-founder of the iNLP Center. Follow Mike on Facebook.

Confidence is power

Ivelina  —  December 22, 2015

Confidence is power. It’s the energy that hold you together no matter what. As the saying goes:You are confident, not because they like you , but even if they don’t. 

What is confidence any way? 

According to Oxford dictionary confidence is: “the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something; it also a feeling of self-assurance arising from an appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities.

It is unique driving force that truly help you along the way. Some people confuse pride and confidence. In my opinion is also easier to be proud than confident. Pride is a momentary glow of self believe, but confidence is a constant light of belief in yourself. 

It is not very exciting doing anything without having confidence in yourself and believing in yourself. I know that for a fact. 

confidence is power

I remember my early days in high school. I was extremely shy as a person and only spoke with a few friends, which I felt very conformable with. I almost avoided going to any parties, even if secretly I wanted to be there. The main reason for that was my extreme lack of confidence. I was so shy and self focused, I had a stutter and I used to find it incredibly hard to make new contacts or even be in a company of people, that I don’t know. 

It took one day to change all that. To this day I remember it as clear as day. The year before last year of high school I got a notebook and asked all my friends and some of the teachers to write something. Something meaning anything. It was a great way to communicate without having to say much as I was still struggling to talk properly because of my stutter. 

Everybody was so kind and generous in writing things and drawing pictures, but a few lines written by my  English teacher changed my life forever. I am forever grateful and it is another prove, that when the student is ready the teacher will appear.. She wrote” Such an intelligent and smart girl,like you should have many friends. Don’t be afraid to follow your dreams and I am sure you will archive great things. Believe in yourself! “

Those words have stuck in my heart forever. I remember walking that day after I read them down the corridor of the school and almost feeling like I am going to fly. I carry seeds of that feeling with me all the time. 

Since that day I wasn’t the same person because someone believed in me,but most importantly I have started to believe in myself and have started to be more confident. 

Ever since then looking back into it now I had a long a way to go, but nevertheless that moment truly changed they way I live. 

I want to give 3 very simple tips to help you feel confident,but most importantly believe in  yourself.

1.Trust your gut feeling -I have mentioned this many many times before, that your intuition knows what to do. 

2.Just do it –if you have been thinking about getting something done, the sooner you do it the sooner you will be able to focus on something else 

3.Don’t compare yourself to others– I can relate how hard this can be,but it’s worth the effort to remember that everyone is walking their own journey. You walk your path with confidence. 

Be well,be wild and enjoy the ride! 

P.S I intent to post a blog a day for 365 days. This is day 2. I strongly believe, that we are what we repeatedly do. 

Thank you for your love and support, 

Happiness is overrated, in my opinion! I want to be real, authentic and stop buying into positive psychology. 

I believe, that happiness is almost a secondary thing and it’s actually a result of my actions and thoughts

Don’t get me wrong I don’t mean to spoil anyone’s fun, but how do you measure happiness?

If people measure sadness with depression, how come we can’t possibly measure happiness.
What is happiness?
Happiness is to be in a state of happy, which means delighted, pleased, or glad…..You can simply fill a page with words, that will define happiness for you. 

The bottom line is, that there is no happiness without pain. How will you know pleasure if you don’t know pain and how will you know pain if you don’t know pleasure?

One reflects in the other and both are needed in order for you to live a “balanced” life (if there is such a thing).

There is a famous quote, that states “You ability to use pleasure and pain determines the quality of your life”.

i don't want to be happy

There are much more important things that being happy!

Love and Gratitude are the catalyst for life. You can feel them both in the deepest of pain and the deepest of pleasure. It’s how being alive feels.

I have seen how deep loss triggers deep love. Love is always present and it flows in gratitude. Practising gratitude is transformational. 

I aim to serve by helping you use the Laws of nature with food, movement and creativity. By helping you I will help myself. By teaching you to eat better I will teach myself, by inspiring you to do blogging I will inspire and motivate myself to be a better blogger. 

I have been coming across for quite some time now a concept and I am almost afraid to accept and it is still a mystery to me. I am still not sure to what extend we create our own reality? I love a quote that said “The words you speak become the house you live in”, but I am afraid to be a creator. I don’t want to feel responsible all the time and feel blamed or criticized. may be that’s my biggest challenge. To accept that I have to reclaim my own choices and stop saying things like “I want to create more content, but the white board is dirty”: “I want to increase the income from my blog, but I don’t like selling” : “I want to make a video, but my hair is dirty”…….

I do have a list of excuses and my biggest one is , that I am a mother and my kids NEED me. To be honest I need them more, that they need me. Looking after the boys fills my heart with purpose, fulfilment and happiness. I used the word Happiness, only again to prove to myself that happiness is a result NOT a goal. 

Thank you so much for being here and reading my blog posts. 

I appreciate and I love you! 

Ivelina