Archives For April 2012

I got this uncomfortable pain in my shoulders and neck for days. I woke up with it on Thursday morning . I was in pain and it wasn’t showing sings , that will go away .For the next few days I tried everything to make myself feel better-massage, exercise, hot baths -nothing seemed to help. Then I started to look deep into it.It was time to face the dark side of me and become friends with it.

Everything happens for a reason. Your body is talking to you. Listen and stop  thinking-just be still and quiet and you will feel . So here it was. For years and years I have been stimulating my body with caffeine and sugar and refined wheat. I would get up in the morning and first drug I  would take would  be coffee and lots of it.I haven't had my coffeeThis would give me an instant boost , only for a few hours and then I would need another one. By then I would be hungry and eat something-I would normally say to myself-there is no calories in coffee, as I take it black it means I can eat a croissant . Very cosy, not ! But anyway. Only to discover , that I am still hungry so I have to find something else.The days will pass  from one thing to the other and I would be constantly keeping busy to make myself feel important…What a waste of energy. I can’t believe I did that.

The dark side of me feels insecure and want to control everybody and every thing around me. I want to tell people what to do and what they have done wrong and how smart I am. I want to hide when people do not like me, but I want even more attention when I am  feeling insecure. That is the time when I am hardly noticed and no matter what I ask people to do it wont’t be done. I am using the word”ask”, when the reality is that I was giving them a direct order. So the next phase of that madness was that I would start moaning how much I do and how much mess there is. So when I finish moaning I would start crying and feeling sorry for myself.  That would be a good excuse to make myself another coffee…. This whole scenario  used to happen on a very regular basis. It was fueled  by the ups and downs of the caffeine and sugar fixes.

The dark side of me is my friend now. When I am feeling unsecure or unworthy I just stop. What is it? It’s just a thought and it is not true. When you say to yourself “I am safe, I am worthy, I am loved ” is peace and pure bliss. You’ve got the power.beautiful woman

Changing the way I eat is only an expression of the healing and detoxifying , that is happening with me and it has helped a lot.Clean water, pure food and superfoods are doing amazing things to my body. Changing what I eat and drink has changed my life and it can only get better.

I still have an arrogant  super woman living with me, but we are friends now. I am powerful and feminine  and I am giving  love and care. I feel so much inspiration and I love sharing  an abundance of gratitude. I can understand , I trust my intuition and I love learning. I am increasingly filled with Love, Passion , Gratitude and Fun.  

 

 

Every morning I feel “reborn”. I open my eyes and I see the colour of the sky.This morning is bright blue with a few white clouds.I hear the birds singing. I love my morning rituals if they can be called like this. Stretch, then go downstairs and make myself my morning hot drink .It used to be coffee and lots of it.I have been caffeine free since 10 th of March and counting. Now I am having tea-at the moment I am taking Pukka “morning time”-organic rooibos, honeybush and red ginseng. The tea is the same but tastes different every morning.Its a way to say hello to my body. Then I would open the door to hear the birds and smell the air. I love the feeling of being here.morning view
Every morning I am so happy to get up out of bed well rested and happy to meet the day. I feel like a new person every morning. Its like I am overcoming something every morning.Some people say that the sleep is a mini death, may be it is. I do not know. All I know is that I love the morning.Its energy lifts me up. It is very important how you start your day.This is also a time when I feel creative and very inspired.
Sometimes one of the boys will come downstairs while I am having “my” morning time and will say “Mummy what can I eat”. My answer is “You can eat whatever you can find or you can wait until I finish my work”. It works, they will get a banana or an orange or sometimes a left over dinner from last night.
Most mornings I would wake up to a pile of dishes from last night,too. There was a time in my life when things like that used to cause me a great distress, but now I couldn’t care less.Dirty dishes means abundance of food in the house, we should be grateful. In an hour or two when I am ready and my helpers are up I will have the kitchen transformed in no tome. and most importantly I will do it with love. Yes this is the trick-when you do something with love you are flowing. Even doing house chores can be enjoyed. When you are flowing everything works and you have a magical touch. Regardless what you are doing you can at least enjoy it.If you are not enjoying it, the least you can do is accept it.
Mornings are filled with the energy of the refreshed mind and purified soul. Every day is a new beginning. You can feel whatever way you want and choose love.
If you have gone to bed with some unsolved issues they will eat you inside and suck up your energy.Your subconscious mind always works, even when you sleep.Recently I have become aware of how important are your dreams.This is one of the things , that I would like to do-next time when I remnember my dream I will write it down and see how it goes.
Do your best to sleep well. It is a vital component of feeling well and revitalized every morning.
Every morning you can start fresh, feel good and face your challenges with love and understanding, that life is a gift that you unwrap every day.
pukka incredible organic herbs
P.S You can get some free samples of Pukka Tea, made from incredible organic herbs from their website. Just go to http://www.pukkaherbs.com/apukkalife/freesamples

I am not a religious person, whatever that may mean to you.I was brought up in Bulgaria in a very traditional family, followed all the national and traditional  holidays throughout the years. In my hometown right across the road from the orthodox church there was a mosque  and every year my Muslim friends were off school during the celebration  of  Ramadan. It was all good, whenever my family was invited to celebrate with them and it was the same when they were in our house to celebrate Easter.bulgarian easter

It never occur to me to call myself a  Christian or a  Muslim or a Pagan.I remember asking my mother what am I? She said ” You are You”. To this day I don’t know  what I am, but I do know for sure, that I have faith. I have faith in the goodness of life, I have faith  in love, I have faith  in the freedom of choice and I have faith  in you and I honor your presence here.

I am not a religious person .I have faith.I feel, that the moment I say to you’I am a christian” or “I am a muslim” I would build a wall around myself and  I really do not want to. I believe in Life and its abundant flow of energy. Its always with you.

So now Easter is approaching.Wow, what a big advertising campaign for a chocolate factory. Did you know that  according to “waste connect”, approximately 80 million chocolate eggs are sold in the UK at Easter which generates around 4,370 tonnes of card and 160 tonnes of foil waste. That is still fine, but what about the lamb? I know its traditional, I know it’s a symbol and I know that “Jesus is a lamb of God”………

I used to have a lamb as a child, done on the spit-very traditional way to celebrate Easter.Easter in Bulgaria is a strongly celebrated holiday.Pagan mysticism still exists in Bulgarian culture even today, but this is a subject for another post.

I remember the lamb before being killed standing in my  granny’s garden.Easter celebrations lamp                                When I think of it now I am horrified of the thought , that you have to kill an animal to celebrate Life.

What does any celebration involves? Table with an abundance of food and drinks and your close family and friends. Regardless what you are celebrating, could be Easter or your birthday it involves the same things.This Easter I won’t be having lamb , if ever….

To me Easter and any other holiday celebrations are all about Life itself. Celebrate that you are here.You are alive and you are in heaven, because you are with people , that you love.