Connections and Love,Modern Parenting

No matter how many “dogs” you “eat”, there always gonna be a “dog” “bigger” than you

This week the school, that my boys go to is very busy as all the classes are having sports day. On Monday I went to Raki’s sport’s day. He is only P1 , so it was more of a fun day, than having any competition at all. At the end everybody got a sticker with “Well Done” on it. Then yesterday Stellios had his sports day and it was just as good. There was a little bit of competition,but there wasn’t much attention put onto it.

So today is Ari’s turn to have a sport’s day. It is a little bit of a different story here. First of all he really didn’t want to. He started last night talking how much faster other children are and how fast they run. I listen to him and really knew in my heart , that my boy wouldn’t like to go. He would have more fun learning what is needed to build an airport, than do the 100 meter sprint  and sweat. He would be so much more fulfilled left to play in his own pace without racing.Last week he made a mask , and the mask got picked and given a price. He  told me ,that he loved making it.

the mask
The Mask

So what do I do? As always I ask myself 3 question?

1. What value taking part in sport’s day will bring in his life?(on the back of my mind was the fact, that last weekend he went to play football in his friend’s house and when he came home told me”This was the best game we ever had”;-)

2. Will it matter in 3 years time, that he misses sport’s day today?(again I am thinking he can have a Lego day instead and build an airport or whatever he wants )

3. What does he want? (you can not always get what you want,but why not get it when you can?)

Modern parenting can be challenging when you have to do what you preach. I always tell him-do what you like. You know best. If you really do not want to do it-don’t. I always choose to listen. I like cooperation , not competition. I focus on inclusion, not exclusion . I prefer living , than suffering and getting  so called “rewards”. In this day and age to me the “dog eat dog ” sounds absolutely useless, because no matter how many dogs you “eat”, there always gonna be a “dog” bigger than you. Get over it and be free.

Children might not have the so called emotional intelligence of an adult, but they have just as good intuition and sense. School systems like to domesticate them and create a false sense , that if do well at school you have more choices in life. I am not sure about that. I went to school every singe day of my life-do not remember missing anything what so ever . But the funny things is , that I hardly can recall any memories of those days apart from playing outside in the school playground . The most memorable times of my childhood are when I was with my parents or relatives-just being together-cooking, going on a holiday , playing card games,playing with my friends and talking to my imaginary friends. This is how you learn.

modern parenting
Ari on his bike at the park

Everybody can benefit from education and I am still a student myself and I think I will remain one till the day I die.

The conclusion is , that in life you have a lot more choices and if you do not want to compete in something you don’t have to.If you do you can . The choice is really yours and I want my children to know that, being happy , being yourself, learning what you like and creating what your  heart desire is freedom and fulfillment.

So Happy Lego Day,Ari ! 😉

Sending Blessings and Love

 

P.S.This is day 45 of  Word press Challenge to make a post every day. There are 194 days left of 2012.

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Ivelina

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